Taking on New Adventures

2016 was supposed to be my year. Chuck and I got engaged over the holidays and we were planning to get married sometime this year. However, things don’t always work out the way you want them to, and the wedding is now in January of 2017…. a little later than I had hoped but it’s very exciting. Wedding plans were slowing moving along at a pace we were pretty comfortable with. We were planning a few trips over the summer to visit family and friends and also discussing our long term future plans. Then I got the cancer news — melanoma again.

As I always do, I went to the dermatologist to get my moles check for one of my twice-a-year checkups. This particular doctor was new to me, as the one I had seen the past 2 times since moving to New Orleans moved out of state. I have to admit that I’m always a bit nervous when I go to the dermatologist. I think it stems from being diagnosed with melanoma at the age of 20 and knowing that genetics are not my friend when it comes to the likelihood of it coming back in another mole. Plus, I still remember the pain of the surgeries and lengthy recovery time while trying to work and go to school during that time. So even though I’m pretty confident that I regularly check my body and am aware of any suspicious moles, so much so that I ask for them to be removed when I do think that, I still get nervous when I step into the room.

This time, the doctor didn’t see anything that looked funky to her, but I did point out one on my upper arm, almost at my shoulder. She said it looked a little odd but nothing too out of the ordinary and left it up to me to take off. I told her yes, and she did a biopsy. It was a bit more painful than others I’d had in the past (I lost count about 6 years ago with 80). But overall, I didn’t think much about it.

Fast forward a week and my phone rang while Chuck and I were at Bayou Wine Garden enjoying a glass of wine during an impromptu Happy Hour. I knew the number but couldn’t remember why, so decided to answer. It was my doctor and the first thing out of my mouth was, “This can’t be good if you are calling me”. She said the dreaded “C” word and we proceeded to discuss the diagnosis — I had Melanoma T1A. The good news was that it was on the surface and not large. The bad news was that it was still cancer.

I made an appointment with the recommended surgical oncologist and he couldn’t see me for a week. Turns out, they weren’t freaking out as much as my first diagnosis and not insisting that I “have it removed immediately or you’ll die”. Seriously, that was what I was told the first go round. So I waited a week and after some drama over the actual appointment date (the office booked me a week later than they told me so did some last minute scrambling to get me in), I saw the doc. Oh and his residents too. Did I mention that Ocshner is a teaching hospital? With thin walls? So I heard them discuss my diagnosis and plan prior to them actually coming in the room.The doctor said he could do it in the office but would prefer to put me under light sedation so that he can avoid any sudden movements on my end. Plus, I told him that my wedding dress is sleeveless and I would prefer a nice scar, not something ugly. And, I hate needles and blood and pulling skin and the rest of it so I was fine with the whole sedation thing. Good news? No chemo. So surgery was the course of action to get it out of my body.

We scheduled the surgery for May 2, a month after the initial doctor’s appointment. After getting blood drawn, a consultation with the anesthesiologist and a quick (read: 30 minutes plus) chat with the resident psychologist, I was cleared for surgery. I got the call the Friday before with the surgery time and that Monday, Chuck drove me to the hospital, with his trusty computer in hand so he could work while I was getting sliced open.

Since I was knocked out with a small dosage of the drug that killed Michael Jackson, I am going on the assumption that the surgery went well. I was home by 1pm and Chuck cooked me lunch before he forced me to sleep the afternoon away. I only had a bandage covering the 4-5 inch incision and was told the stitches were inside, which would prevent the scarring from being worse.

Well, that didn’t work out. I went to the doc on Tuesday since I felt awful and had more bleeding than we were told would happen and he told me I was fine. I tried to get back to normal as quickly as possible since we had a major work event on Friday and our Engagement Party on Saturday. I weaned myself off the double Percocet dosage at night so that I could have a clear head for the events.

The next week I noticed the incision opening a little more every day and after some back and forth, went back to the doctor for a checkup. At that point, he told me it was too late to fix it and I’d have to let the wound heal from the inside out. His estimated time was 6-8 weeks and during that time, I would need to keep it sterile and covered. So no pool, no ocean and no lifting weights.

I didn’t have a good vibe from this doctor the entire time. And after a few more weeks, it just didn’t seem to be healing well, so I decided to get a second opinion. I’m glad I did. The new doc told me I have what looks to be a mild allergy to the stitches so they didn’t do what they were supposed to. But she did say it was healing right, slow as it may seem, and that the scar wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. However, makeup at the wedding on my arm is still about a 99% possibility.

So here we are in mid-July, 10 1/2 weeks after surgery, and my incision is almost healed. At this point, all I want to do is go for a swim! It’s been so long. But also, I want to check with another surgeon to see if anything can be done to reduce the overall scar. Because, well, I’m a girl, and it’s ugly and I do NOT want people staring at it as I say my vows.

I did learn a few things about myself during round 2 of the melanoma games:

–I found a workout I loved that helped reduce my stress in Barre3. The awesome instructors worked with me to modify the arm movements so that I could still get a great workout and get my mind right in class.

–Chuck is a really good nurse. He changed my bandages for me since it made me queasy and made sure that I was doing the right things so that I’d heal properly.

–It could’ve been worse. And I’m glad it wasn’t.

–If you don’t get a good feeling from your doctor, seek a new one. I wish I’d had someone else I felt I trusted more do the surgery.

–I still go out in the sun, and I still wear sunscreen more than the average person. But I’m a bit more diligent about wearing it on an everyday basis.

So yeah, here’s day 1 and here’s day … well, I hate to count. It’s been a long, wild ride. Now back to my regularly scheduled planning of what I hope is an epic weekend of wedding fun!